Learning something new is really hard. The story that I'm telling now is happened when I was 11 years old (in Korean Age). It was so hard to learn how to swim.I tried to learn how to swim when I was 9 years old. But I failed because I was so afraid of water. And lastly I learned how to swim at 2010. I was in Canada at summer time. I was live with Rose, T.K., Mathew, Jessica, Cloud and some adults in one house. Rose, T.K. and Mathew was Jessica, Cloud and My teachers.
First day, T.K. thought me. He hold me and thought me how to float. That was the first time that I float in my life. However, at the next day, I forgot how to float. But Rose just thought me Dolphin swim. She was my teacher for long time. So then, I know how to float and I could do Dolphin Swim. It was a great experience! My heart was pumping faster and faster than other times. I was scared about the water little bit, but it was very fun! Mathew, T.K., and my great teacher Rose said "Great Job, Jeong Yeon!" I was feeling fantastic.
After some days, I learned diving little bit from Mathew. Also, I learned how to turn in the water and hands standing in the water. But it's not that well. One day, I made a Canadian friend named Chris. Everybody enjoy the time. We played really fun with some balls and kick boards.
Now, I know how to swim. Thank you, Rose and other guys. And I miss you, everyone. It was a fantastic experience. I want to learn other new things! I'm sure that it will be fun to learn a new skill!
Iris,
답글삭제This is a good story. For it to be a more effective story, I would like you to pay close attention to your syntactical, spelling and grammatical errors. Some of the sentences were choppy and hence affected the fluency of your writing. I would have also liked to read about how meaningful your swimming experience was for you. How was it a great experience, for example.